Sunday, April 3, 2016

Fyodor, politics and Simba

I feel entirely in harmony with myself and the whole world, and this feeling is so strong and so delightful that for a few seconds of such bliss one would gladly give up 10 years of one's life, if not one's whole life. --Fyodor Dostoevsky


     By this point in any Presidential election year, it's almost painful for me to watch the news. This election is the ugliest one I've witnessed in my lifetime.
     The negative campaign ads will reach their peak in late October, when I won't even be able to go out shopping or to the bank or the doctor's office without seeing and hearing nasty accusations candidates will be throwing at one another.
     In my own personal opinion, there is one king of nasty in this year's election, and I'm not going to mention his name because he feeds on attention, like all bullies. The funny thing is, when I was actively seizing almost every day, he annoyed me as much as usual before I had a seizure.
     However, after experiencing one of my little "trips to the other side," I could watch him rant and rave without seeing anything but an over-sized boy, having public temper-tantrums because he doesn't want to share the toys in his sandbox.
     My theory is that whatever happens inside my head during my seizures takes me to a place where no one is a bully. The best comparison I have been able to come up with is from a movie my son, Jimi, insisted we watch over and over again, all those years ago in Okinawa.
     After experiencing a seizure, I get that Lion King feeling, the way Simba must have felt at the end of the movie, when he already climbed that mountain in the darkness, let out his roar and watched the clouds break up over his head. The sun shines through and everything is connected.

    You may not understand this post; I'm not sure it makes much sense and is probably a "rough draft" that will need to be edited and re-edited.
     But I do think at least one person would understand it, my beloved Fyodor. I hope he is watching from the other side, wherever it is, and smiling...or laughing, either one would make me smile, too. In fact, I already am.