Monday, April 25, 2016

Spring Fever

     Now that the weather is warm, I'm beginning to really miss having my driver's license. This is causing me to rethink my tendency to be totally honest with my doctors. "What good has it done for me?" I wondered to myself this morning as I got up to face another day of being dependent on other people to take me places.
     It's a question that goes around and around in my head more often these days. I feel betrayed by all of them except Dr. S, who had to move away to Wisconsin (too far to stalk him).
     Then, I remembered how the same doctors who expected me to surrender up to four days of freedom so they could videotape me with wires on my head readily dismissed my one recorded seizure as a mere "spell" before I left Walter Reed Medical Center last month.
     That's when I came up with an even better idea than lying to future physicians. I could use their own words against them and maybe shed myself of this epileptic label once and for all.
     After all these years of being on medication for seizures and even fretting over having a broken hippocampus, I can again embrace that original description my mother and I gave to my bizarre episodes when they began in the 1980s.
     If we called them spells then and a doctor at Walter Reed called it a spell last month, why not return to the past and redefine myself as NOT having epilepsy at all?
     The Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles cannot take someone's license away for having a "spell," now can they?
     I'm going to email my neurologist now and see what he says.
     It's boring having to stay here at the house all the time due to a strange type of seizure no one else seems to have or understand or even want to admit exists. Now that I'm not experiencing the ecstasy any longer, I'm ready to get out and about where things are actually happening in the world.
     Once I rid myself of this epilepsy label, I can officially break up with these cold-hearted neurologists once and for all. Someone would need to keep prescribing my Depakote sprinkles, however, as those pills sure do the trick for keeping my "spells" at bay.
     It shouldn't be a problem because Depakote is a very popular drug and doesn't need to advertise on daytime T.V. Like so many other anticonvulsants, it's a mood regulator.
     My "spells" certainly respond to it well, as does my chronic insomnia. I could more than likely get my primary care doc to prescribe it and do the necessary blood tests to make sure my liver isn't being destroyed.
     Then, I could get my driver's license back and not wait around until fall.
     I'll let you know what my neurologist says. Maybe he'll tell me I'm cured.